What Is Deserved
by alexlayne1990
Summary: The punishment must fit the crime and Dean's punishments are what Sam has been made to believe he deserves. But now Dean's gone and the tasks fall on Sam to do himself, until Dean comes back. Wincest, noncon, evil!Dean torture, violence.
1. When Brother is Gone

Hello everyone and welcome to What is Deserved, this is my first Supernatural fanfic so I hope you all enjoy it. Please remember to leave a review thanks!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, and Sam I'm so sorry….

Ch. One: When brother is gone:

It had been one hundred thirty nine days since Sam Winchester celebrated his birthday by burying his brother in a small clearing in the forest on the outside of town. He had insisted on digging the grave on his own, hell, he had insisted on doing everything on his own. He'd removed Dean's torn and mangled body from that house in New Harmony where he'd become a Hellhound's chew toy and placed him in the backseat of the Impala, had built the make shift casket and placed Dean in it only six hours after the clock had struck midnight. It was Sam that dug the hole that would be the final resting place for his brother earning himself nothing but a few calluses on his hands, that task had taken hours of none stop work but finally it was done to Sam's liking. Sam rigid up a chain and pulley system to the back of a truck he had borrowed from Bobby to slowly ease the casket into the ground. One hundred thirty nine days since his world shattered, since he had put the last family member he had in the ground, since he built a cross to mark the burial site. But the one thing Sam had not even considered until he tossed the shovel into the back of the truck and looked over his shoulder. It had been one hundred thirty nine days since he became free of his brother's control.

At first Sam couldn't accept his freedom, it wasn't that he didn't _want_ to accept it, he just didn't know _how_ to he felt lost like an abandoned puppy looking for his master knowing full well he never would. Master is gone and it's time for the dog to survive on his own Sam had tried everything to bring Dean back to him, countless spells and charms were as effective as trying to break a rock with a toothpick. A couple of weeks after _that day _he'd summoned that bastard Crossroad demon more than ready to make a direct trade, but his plea to take his brother's place were met with a cruel laugh and an immediate 'no. He had made it clear, Hell had its arms wrapped around Dean Winchester and it wasn't letting him go for anything. If he had the courage he would drive the Impala out to Dean where he and it truly belonged, pull out one of the many guns they had kept in the trunk and blow his brains out over his brother's grave. But he wasn't going to do that. God knows, he wanted to, but Master had orders and Sam had learned his lessons well, each and every single time. Or at least he thought he had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ '_You're mine Sammy.'_ Dean had whispered viciously in his ear as he pushed his hard cock inside Sam without having prepared him and stayed there, forcing himself in fully he clamped his hand over his little brother's mouth to mask the pained scream that would have alerted the man sleeping in the next room. _'Be quiet Sam. _Dean warned, his green eyes never leaving Sam's. '_You move, or cry out and I'm going to make this harder than it has to be. Now, are you going to be good?' _Frantically, Sam moved his head up and down, submitting to being the obedient pet that Dean not only wanted him to be in but expected it and like a good dog he was rewarded with Dean removing his hand from his mouth. Sam wondered vaguely what crime had he committed that this punishment had warrant. The pain of Dean forcing himself inside Sam filled his being with a sharp white hot burn, making his body jerk slightly (_**Don't move! Don't move**_) against the much too tight handcuffs Dean had locked around his wrists the moment they stepped foot in the bedroom they were sharing at Bobby's . _'Sam, do you have any idea why I'm doing this?' _Sam didn't know. Had no fucking idea really. He should have lied and said 'Yes.' To confess may have ended the punishment right then but Sam chose silence at his brother's question and the hands that held him and protected him all his life grabbed a hand full of his hair and slammed the back of his skull into the hard wood bed frame sending stars dancing in front of his eyes. '_I expect an answer from you Sam.' _This time Dean didn't stop himself, ever so slightly he pulled out just enough to give Sam's tight hole a small bit of release before shoving himself even further then before. '_God, …you're tight Sammy.'_ Dean said through clenched teeth as he slammed his body into Sam's. The pain was enough to bring Sam out of his daze and the reflexes he'd acquired over the last year took over. Sam spread his body out for Dean even more then he had already been forced to, giving him even more access to go deeper to taunt and tease every part of his body that Dean wanted. Dean's fingers uncurled themselves from around Sam's hair and gently stroked his cheeks. _'Love you Sammy…only you, me and you that's all there is. You're never gonna leave me, you're mine'_ Dean whispered before pushing his lips to Sam's. Sam nipped and sucked at Dean's lips while allowing himself to bask in the wake of Dean's tender hands exploring his body, finding the erect nipples and giving them taunting little flicks and pulls and then finally touching where Sam wanted him to really be. The hand around his own cock rubbed the tip with expert care knowing just how to work Sam while still keeping his balls about an inch away from Sam's ass at all times. Sam's cock was already begging for Dean to move his hand across it, to wrap his mouth around it, anything. _'God, D-Dean please!' _Sam gasped and his eyes widened in horror. He had spoken when Dean told him not to.

Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck….

Sam clenched his eye lids closed and waited for Dean's fist to meet the mouth. (that was the usual punishment he got for talking when Dean didn't allow it) but the blow didn't come. Instead, Dean pulled his dick out, his cum and some blood leaking out of his brother. _'I'm going to let you sleep on it little brother.' _Dean practically growled as he pushed himself off the bed. _'We have a big day tomorrow, gotta take one last shot at saving me from the pit.' _ Sam nodded, knowing that he wasn't going to be getting any sleep, not with his body aching and his wrists pinned above his head. _'Give you a hint Sam.'_ Dean mumbled as he crawled under the covers on his side of the bed. _'Even accidently touching a hot stove gets you burned.'_ And then Sam knew why Dean had punished him, he knew what sin he had committed against the brother who had sold his soul to bring him back to life and was going to Hell the next day if he couldn't figure out a way to save him. At the restaurant, he had accidently touched the waitresses hand as she slid him the check.

Sam kept the note that he found in Dean's jacket the day he buried him. He kept it in his wallet and he found himself looking at his brother's last message to him scrawled hastily on a piece of notebook paper, _'Don't follow me.'_ The message read and Sam obeyed the command because that was just the kind of 'good boy' Dean had trained him to be. Sam tried to follow every single rule after Dean died he really did but like with the waitress accidents happened, and Sam took on the role Dean played. On day number one hundred thirty eight Sam sat clenching the open lighter away from the water of the shower and tried to keep his body from shivering against the ice cold water that sprayed on his back. He could practically hear his brother whispering in his ear. _'Do it slow Sammy…you go fast and it will be over sooner, but you won't learn…'_ Sam took a deep breath and held it. In one quick movement he brought the flame to life and stuck his left arm over it. **'Hold it!'** He told himself. **'Hold it and count to ten!'** Sam bit hard into his lip, instantly feeling the skin tear, "One." He gasped, fighting the urge to pull away and stop this. Oh fuck it hurt…. "Two." _'Good boy Sammy, keep going…' _"Th-three!" His skin was blistering and the insane thought of 'is this what they're doing to Dean?' ran through his mind. He opened his mouth to choke out the next number when he heard someone banging on the door. He jumped in surprise and knocked over the lighter into water, ending the punishment before he was suppose to. "Sam! Sam open the door!" The person shouted at him. "Fuck!" He mumbled under his breath, pulling himself up and wrapping a towel around himself before opening the bathroom door. "What do you want? He asked the woman standing outside the door. "I wasn't expecting you for a couple more weeks, Ruby." He knew exactly why she was here, she'd been following him for weeks now, ever since that night he'd gotten back from that time he tried to bargain with the Crossroads demon and found a whole hoard of them waiting for him in his hotel room, they had pressed a blade to his throat and he had let them, Dean's orders said he wasn't allowed to kill himself, didn't say a fucking word about getting someone else to do it "Come on.." He had taunted, lifting chin up. "Do it.." He closed his eyes when he saw the knife rise ready to slash open his neck, but the demon didn't deliver the blow that was meant to send him into a dark oblivion Instead the black eyed bitch did something worse. She saved him, saved him and started teaching him about some 'gift' he had, but the gift came at a price and he had to pay it each time. "Figured you wanted some juice Sam." Ruby said as casually as if she were offering him a stick of gum instead of her putrid yet somehow addicting blood. She pulled out the small knife from her pocket and offered it to him. "So come get it." He didn't want it, he really didn't. But it helped, he couldn't care less that he could get demons out of people and send them crying back to Hell, it gave him an excuse to inflect the punishments on himself because those times when he deserved the pain he gave himself, the times he cut into her skin and sucked the blood out and those times afterwards when he fucked her those were the only time he could sense his dead brother around him, and it was the only time he truly felt safe…Sam let the towel fall from his body as one hand grabbed the knife and the other grabbed her throat. He wasn't hurting her, he never did. Not when he slammed her down on the bed, not when he brought the knife to her flesh and watched the skin bloom red with her blood, not when he used his tongue to lap at the cut, she remained quiet the whole time only whispering praises in his ear when he'd finished drinking and started ripping off her clothes.

'_Finish last night's punishment Sammy..' _Sam hadn't needed the voice to encourage him, he'd already turned the cold shower back on full blast and had pressed the lighter to a new spot on his arm, this time he used his shirt to gag himself, taping a piece of tape over his lips, didn't want Ruby to hear him cry out when the crime had been paid for because he would have to do this and then something else to make up for last night. Tears streamed from his eyes as he screamed the final number into the shirt he had stuffed into his mouth feeling the fabric slowly falling towards his throat. Nearly gagging he pulled the shirt out of his mouth, gasping for air. He plunged his arm into the cold spray of the shower, knowing that it was going to burn even more as soon as he took it out of the water, but he didn't care._ 'You did so good Sammy…'_ He heard the praises and smiled to himself in spite of the pain. Tenderly he turned his arm over on its side and examined the fruit of his labor. It was at least a second degree burn the flesh red and blistered from the flames heat no doubt this was going to leave a hell of a scar. And it would match the other dozen that decorated his arms and legs. But he wasn't done yet, the punishment had to go with the crime, taking in a demon's blood was like taking a small bit of Hell into himself and he deserved to wear marks to show that. The sin of drinking her blood was forgivable if he punished himself enough but using what was Dean's on her to fuck her until he nearly passed out with exhaustion wasn't just unforgiveable, it was beyond redemption no matter what he did to himself the praises and encouragement to continue never filled his head. When he was sure he wouldn't scream he used his good arm to pull himself up from the tub and stood dripping on the tile of the bathroom. He kept the water running still worried Ruby would wake up. He didn't dare wrap the towel around himself, because that would have provided warmth, and right now that wasn't something he deserved. Sam had already laid out everything he would need to take care of the burn on his arm and in moments he had the area cleaned, gauzed and bandaged. But there was still the last punishment. He took one step forward and turned towards the sink and turned the water on, catching his reflection in the mirror his eyes full of hate for himself. **You're pathetic. **Sam looked away, he hadn't been able to stand looking at himself in months, not since the first time Dean had decided to punish him for forgetting to clean the guns, resulting in Dean fucking him with the barrel of the gun and giving him a blow job at the same time. This wouldn't have been too terrible if Dean's finger wasn't on the trigger and the gun was loaded. _'It's for your own good Sammy…' _Dean told him _'Have to keep you whole, pure…'_ Sam never understood what Dean had meant by that but he knew not to ever question it. Sam had sterilized the three inch long sewing needle in a paper cup full or rubbing alcohol, the last thing he wanted was to get an infection, that was another rule, once the fine was paid no need to make it last longer than it had to be. Sam took the needle out and dried it on the washcloth and sat down on the cold porcelain seat of the toilet. Dean hadn't permitted Sam to touch himself in months; _'No one touches Dean Winchester's stuff'_ had been the golden rule since Sam was old enough to walk. Sam gripped his limp penis and pulled the shaft roughly, flinching in pain but not making a sound. He had to make sure he didn't get too hard, just enough to expose as much of his flesh as he could. Finally, when he was ready he pricked the head of his dick with the needle. The pain was extreme and Sam's hand released the needle and he bent his body over drawing in deep breaths as the needle fell to the floor, his hand flew to his mouth and he bit down on his knuckle, his teeth leaving white indentions on his skin. _'Do it Sammy….pick up that fucking needle and prove you're still all Sam…all my Sammy.' _ "Dean, I can't do it, it hurts too much…" Tears stung his eyes and he wiped them away in shame. _'Yes you can. Come on baby brother…do it for me." _That was all Sam needed. Gritting his teeth he picked up the needle from between the tiles and this time he pushed the needle in full length, his back arched and he cried out. Sam yanked the needle out and looked at it, the silver had a red tint from his blood. **You know what you are Sam? You are the shit inside a maggot's ass. And nothing you do to yourself is gonna change that**. "Shut up. Shut the fuck up." **You can burn, cut, inject yourself with drugs, and shove needles in your dick all fucking day but it's not going to bring Dean back…and you wanna know the truth Sammy?**

"D-don't call me Sa~" He started to say out of habit but the voice in his head cut him off; **Sammy Sammy Sammy poor pathetic baby Sammy, not happy unless he's getting fucked by his older brother. You know the real reason you do this shit, because you hate the fact that you don't want Dean to come back somehow. **Sam repositioned the needle and dug it into his skin again trying to ignore what he was being told. **You didn't want him to be saved, 'oh we'll find a way Dean. I'll get you out of your deal.' Bullshit. You knew there was no way out. **He pulled the needle out and this time he let it fall to the floor. It was true. He hadn't wanted Dean to be saved, he couldn't wait for the Hellhounds to come and eat his brother alive. Dean may have been his father's attack dog but that was much better than whatever it was Sam was trying to be, his brother's pet? His toy? _ 'Just prove to me you're still Sam…Do what I say…show that you're 100 percent Sam Winchester.'_

Sam didn't realize he was already on his feet, or that he was standing in front of the sink glaring at his reflection, "You are a pathetic piece of shit." He told himself and he slammed his fist into the mirror. He looked at his fist, his skin painted with blood and shards of glass, and he swung again and again "I am Sam Winchester!" He shouted "I don't fucking deserve this shit!"

It was the loud rapid banging outside the door that broke him out of his rage. Guess he finally woke Ruby up. "Yeah, I'm coming!" He shouted to her quickly picking the glass out of his hand, he needed stitches, but he'd worry about that later. He threw on a pair of semi dirty jeans over his aching body and turned off the water. He looked down at the needle on the floor. It almost made him sick. Slowly he bent down and picked it up. "No more punishments." He told himself tossing the instrument of his own torture into the trash and wrapping a towel. Dean's never coming back, he could accept that now. No way for Dean to watch his every move and make him sit in the electric chair for jay walking. This ended today. Right the fuck now. Sam flung the door open expecting to see Ruby standing there with that bored expression she wore most of the time and bitching that she wanted to get some breakfast. But she wasn't there. "Ruby?" Sam called looking around. From what he could tell she was still sleeping in the bed, her head tilted to one side facing the wall, a position he hadn't seen her sleep in before, not that he had given it much thought. Sam threw on his plaid blue shirt and lay down on the bed, closing his eyes and resting his head on his hands. Fuck he was exhausted. Something warm and thick dripped on his cheek…'Nightmare..' He told himself, 'just sleep it's not real….just bad memories' but the drip came again and this time he opened his eyes. Ruby, like Jess, was pinned to the ceiling above his bed, her naked body fixed with her arms out stretched by her sides and her legs crossed the knife they had used to destroy demons was perturbing out of her chest, like she had been crucified, but there were no lifeless eyes peering at him and a scream escaped him as he realized why. Her head. Her head wasn't attached to her body. Gasping in horror Sam flung back the tangled blankets that he had been so certain was her body under them and found exactly what he had been expecting. Her severed head rolled over and landed against his arm. His stomach turned and he found himself on his knees puking up the contents of his stomach. He felt a hand gently pat his back and he froze. "Shh…It's okay Sammy, I'm here." Oh, God, no….Sam turned his head, and saw the rage in his brother's eyes. "I'm going to make everything better." Dean's fist found the right spot without any effort and Sam fell forward into darkness.

Ch. One/End


	2. Glimpse of Darkness

Hello everyone and welcome to the second chapter of What is Deserved. Please enjoy yourselves and leave a comment.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.

He wasn't awake yet, his mind still trapped in some dark world, but he knew that he was tied to something hard. Sam could feel cold metal restraints on each of his wrists pinning his arms to his sides and something tight and constricting on his stomach that prevented him from turning over in his sleep. It wasn't the sound of someone talking to him somewhere off to the left that woke Sam up from the oblivion he had been thrown into, no, it was the smell of something like a combination of regurgitated rotten meat that had been soaking in the hot summer sun and something so putrid Sam couldn't quite find the words to describe it. There was a dull sting on his arm from where he had burnt the flesh, meaning he had been out for maybe one or two days at most…and his head was throbbing painfully where Dean had hit him '_Dean? Oh shit. Can't be. Has to be a shape shifter or something…' _Sam tried in vain to assure himself. **You know it's not. You're fucked Sammy totally and completely fucked…** Sam didn't open his eyes until he could feel the Dean leaning over him, watching him, knowing he was playing possum. "Sammy?" Dean's voice said softly, his hand moved gently through Sam's hair, trying to coax his brother awake. Sam kept his eyes shut, knowing that if he opened them he would have to face the situation and that was the one thing he was not ready to do, not until he had time to think…But Dean had never been patient. The hand that was already tangled up in his hair clenched into a fist and yanked his head forward; Sam hissed in pain and his eyes flew open, meeting the familiar green of Dean's. "Hey Sam, long time no see." Dean said, like he had just taken a trip to the Grand Canyon all summer. Dean released Sam's head abruptly and it slammed back into the table giving the knot that was already on the back of his head a painful throb. The thing that looked like Dean, but couldn't be, stood up, his eyes never leaving Sam's. "God Sammy, haven't seen you in so fucking long…" Sam flinched as the thing touched his face in the same loving manner his brother had done since he could remember. "Don't touch me…" Sam's protest was dry and horse, how long had he really been out? Hours? Days? "Who are you? You're not him, you're not my brother." The thing smiled at him, fuck he was grinning, like he was about to crack the greatest joke ever told. "Not entirely." He admitted, and gave Sam a light slap to his cheek.

Suddenly, he remembered. "You killed Ruby." The other man laughed like he had forgotten about it himself. "Yeah." He said "Yeah, dumb bitch opened the door; amazing what a little 'I've been shot, I need help' routine will get you these days. She opened the door and let me right the fuck in." Sam knew what he was going to say next, but didn't bother to stop him from saying it anyways. "As soon as she saw who I was, she tried to yell for you, and I tore her head off her fucking neck and pinned her body up to ceiling just like they did to Mommy and Jessica…figured you'd appreciate the trip down memory lane." Sam felt his anger rising. There was no way this was Dean. Dean may have fucked with him on several occasions their whole lives but this whole thing was nothing but one sick fucking joke. "Guess I could have let the skank go but she touched my stuff didn't she? Punishment has to fit the crime. Isn't that what I taught you?"

"Who are you?" Sam asked again. _'Keep him talking, think of a way out. Oh god, what is that smell?" _ **"Won't do you any good, he's not going to let you out of this room, may as well get that little prayer out of your head now. ** That stupid voice in his head had started whispering right after Dean had made that stupid Crossroad deal and had brought Sam back. He had been able to ignore it except when Dean was giving him 'punishments' for whatever crime he had committed, then the voice that sounded just like his own was yelling, and after he started drinking the demon blood, screaming. Sam was so busy with trying to block out the noise in his head that he didn't hear the Dean look alike answering his question; "….ther." With an obvious annoyance the hand that had been caressing his face so gently only seconds ago gripped each of Sam's cheeks with bruising pressure and jerked his head to the side. Sam let out a muffled cry of pain and he gave a futile attempt to jerk his head away. "Did you hear me Sammy? I said 'I'm Dean, your dear big brother.'" The fingers squeezed tighter, for a split second Sam seriously thought the thing was going to crush his face. Sam gave a quick, frantic nod to show he heard, and the thing that had claimed to be Dean let him go. "You wanna what it was like down there Sammy?" He asked, as he turned away from his brother, his lover, his victim. _Oh God, it's true…he really is Dean…._ " "Time's different, minutes here is days down there in the pit. I'd cover ten years in a month." Dean walked out of Sam's view momentarily and Sam heard the faint squeak of wheels getting closer, an old cart was pushed next to the bed or table or whatever the hell it was that he was being held down to. A light blue cloth that was obviously covering something was removed, revealing surgical instruments, drugs, empty syringes, and a variety of other items that Sam knew had been selected just for him. **"Oh, shit, it's almost gone completely…" **His head whispered to him. But Sam didn't listen. Dean was alive; somehow he was alive…but wrong, so very, very wrong. God that smell was going to make him puke…what the hell is that? "Let's test that little Stanford brain of yours." Dean said thoughtfully as he picked up one of the razor sharp blades and lightly pressed it to Sam's throat. "When someone dies what is the last thing to leave the body? Answer right and I won't cut you. Yet. Five Seconds" Desperately Sam tried to think of the answer to the question.

"Five…"

"Hearing!" Sam shouted the answer, praying he was right. Dean grinned. "Good job." He praised, but he didn't take the blade away from Sam's throat. "Hearing is the last thing to go, takes seven minutes." He leaned in close to Sam, giving him a small cut making him bite back a cry of pain, not too deep just enough that Sam was going to get his shirt collar a little stained. "That means in those minutes you were crying and begging me to come back. I could hear you. For nearly two fucking weeks I could hear your little bitch ass moaning and sobbing. And you know what? I figured, hey. If I can hear him, maybe he can hear me. So I screamed for you."

Sam glared; "You fucking said you weren't going to cut me." Sam reminded through gritted teeth.

"Oh did I?" He asked innocently, and continued talking. "Took me a week of screaming my head off to figure out you couldn't hear me. " Dean recalled. "You weren't going to save me, that you honestly didn't give a shit."

"I tried." Sam whispered. "I tried to get you back, I swear-"A sharp pain hit him when Dean sliced his face with the little knife, clearly Dean didn't want to hear what he had to say. "You should have fucking tried harder!" He bent over Sam's face and gave the cut a sudden lick and looked at Sam like he wanted to puke. As if though he tasted something more putrid then the odor in the room…

"**He knows! Oh fuck he knows!"**

"_Knows what?" _Sam wondered

"Like I said, I screamed for you for a fucking week, and then when I figured you weren't going to come in and be the big hero the sound of your voice just got so annoying." Dean kept talking as he stepped away long enough to set the scalpel in a jar of clear liquid. "But the sadistic bastards kept me fucking chained up there in that lightning filled sky for a few more days before they actually started in on me. Guess they wanted to make damn sure I knew where I was. Get' em broken and then shatter 'em seems to be the motto down there" Dean picked up the scalpel out of the jar and dried it off on his shirt before placing it back on the table. Sam could see him eyeing each of the instruments, deciding which one he wanted to use next. "Dean, come on man let me up, please." He begged. "Let's talk…" Dean didn't bother to acknowledge Sam's pleas. "Thirty years Sammy…" Dean said as he selected a long rubber band that was only used for one thing. "That's how long they had me on the rack. "_"Something's wrong with the time. It should have been about 40 years." _Sam thought. Sam watched Dean push the table away and take a step closer. "What are you doing?" He asked, trying to keep his voice steady as the band was tied around his arm. "You're smart, figure it out." Dean told him and picked up one of the empty syringes, and looked at the sharp tip of the hallow needle with a bored expression. "They sliced away at me; they cut, carved, and destroyed me in every sense of the word. And in exchange for freedom I got to spend a decade breaking souls." He told Sam, and closed his eyes. Sam knew. He knew what color they would be when he opened them but that didn't stop him from crying out in horror as Dean's eyes opened slowly, revealing what they both knew he would eventually become.

Dean grinned at Sam,"I grew to love the look of fear and horror everyone gave me when I started in on them." He told his brother "I bet you're a screamer too aren't you Sammy?" Dean seized Sam's arm. "No! Don't!" Sam yelled and jerked as Dean jabbed the needle in the bend of his arm. He watched Dean slowly draw the plunger back and the clear tube fill up with his blood. "You want to know what I'm doing Sam?" Dean asked, his eyes returning to green. "I'm doing what I always promised I would. I'm going to save you and then I'm going to punish you for what you did with that black eyed skank."

Sam was shaking so hard he could hear the metal handcuffs beating against whatever it was that he was laying on. "It-it was just sex, Dean I swear, and I really didn't want to..." He stammered, trying to think of an excuse that would make Dean see reason. "I needed someone, I just…Dean please?" Dean turned away from Sam and out of pure stupid habit Sam grabbed for his brother, he couldn't reach far but he was able to just brush his outstretched finger tips against Dean's side. Dean didn't react to the touch; he laid the syringe back on the table and picked up something else, Sam could hear the familiar sound of metal snipping together, he could even picture the tips glistening, ready to be used in what Dean had said would be his salvation and redemption Sam turned his head to the side, feeling tears well up in his eyes, and he clenched his hand into a fist.

"_How did this happen?" _He wondered. "Why?" Sam asked himself aloud. Dean didn't answer him. _"Maybe he doesn't really know either."_

Sam felt something sticky on his fingers; "Blood? Dean, why are you…?" In fact, how was Dean even in his body? Sam had watched the Hellhound tear him to shreds, even if he had somehow gotten back in by now the body would be rotted beyond recognition. Dean laughed, like it just now dawned on him too. "Oh yeah, well, everyone has a twin somewhere right?" He looked at the dark stain on his shirt; "Why am I the one that get's a damaged product?"

"**He's possessing someone…" **The little voice whispered, as if Sam needed to be told. Sam felt his fear subside, replaced with rage. "Who is it Dean?" He practically spat the words, not caring what Dean was planning on doing with those scissors. "Oh, the meat suit? Man, you wouldn't believe how screwed up this guy is! Butchered a handful of people with a pick ax and didn't even realize he was doing it!" He shook his head and raised the scissors to Sam's arm. The younger Winchester breathed a sigh of relief, when he saw the bandage scissors. Made to cut cloth and not his flesh. Dean snipped away the band he had tied around Sam's arm. "Humans man… fucking insane." Dean returned the bandage scissors back to the table, picked up the syringe with his brother's blood and placed a protective cap over the needle and shoved it into his pocket. "Well Sammy, it's been real and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun. Catch ya later!" Dean gave Sam's hair a playful ruffle and turned towards a dark part of the room.

Sam thrashed "Where are you going!" He shouted at his brother who was going God knew where with full intention of keeping Sam restrained to that very uncomfortable box or table or whatever the hell it was he was on in that disgusting smelling room "What the fuck are you doing Dean?" Sam heard the screech of a heavy door as it slid across the ground. "I've got shit to do and hearing you scream for the next few days and me not making you do it is going to boring as fuck."

"Why don't you just kill me and get it over with, you son of a bitch? I'm the reason you became one of those fucking things! Come on Dean!" Sam taunted. "Fucking do whatever it you're gonna do, save me, kill me, or whatever it is, just fu-"Sam fell silent as a hand caught his throat, pressing hard on his windpipe. Sam's hazel eyes bulged in his head at the constriction of his airway. Dean leaned in close to Sam's face, their noses touching. "I gave myself to Hell for you and how did you repay me brother?" Dean practically hissed the question, loosening the tight hold he had on Sam's throat, and he gasped greedily for air. "You not only fucked Ruby but you became a fucking blood drinking freak!" Then Sam remembered what that voice had said when Dean had licked the cut on his cheek. Sam opened his mouth to speak, to try to tell Dean he was only doing it so he could kill Lilith, that he wasn't doing it for fun and received a fist to the side of his head, making stars dance in front of his eyes. "I don't give a flying fuck why you did it!" Dean yelled, slapping Sam across the face hard enough that his head jerked to the side, he yelled out in pain and the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. "I can fucking taste her inside you, her and the yellow eyed son of a bitch..."

Slowly, he turned his head back to face his brother, their eyes meeting and Sam spat the mix of saliva and blood in Dean's face.

Dean jerked back, wiping his face with his sleeve cussing; "That's fucking gross, bro, didn't anyone teach you better manners?" Before Sam could make a clever retort Dean had grabbed him by his long hair and yanked his head back making Sam grit his teeth in pain. "Did you think I wouldn't find out brother? I was a torturer, I can see every single sin that was committed in someone's life and I make them pay for every single one…again…and again. And you can bet your ass I'm going to have you answer for yours soon enough but first…" Dean's hand gave Sam's hair another tug, this time forward and pressed his lips to Sam's, meshing their mouths together, and despite the pain and fear that had flooded his body Sam felt his mind go numb and he gave in to Dean, returning the kiss, massaging Dean's tongue with his own, biting and sucking on that familiar mouth. Dean's hand released his hair and moved down Sam's shirt, finding his way to Sam's nipples; already hard he pinched them, squeezing them harder in his fingers as Sam moaned in pain between moans of pleasure. _"Hate what you've become Dean. But missed you so fucking much…"_ Sam's eyes fluttered closed, trying to just for a second, make some kind of comparison between who Dean was and what he had become. The solid black demonic animalistic eyes that met his did not hold the trace of love that the green did. "Enjoying yourself there Sam?" The hand resting on his chest moved down once more, this time past his stomach and the restraint and cupped him through his jeans. "D-don't!" Sam protested, "No…" But Dean was already undoing his jeans. "Like I said Sammy, you'll answer for your sins soon enough, but first I'm going to punish you for spitting on my face. " Instantly, Sam fell silent, remembering the rule, 'you take your punishment and you shut up about it don't move don't cry out...' Sam knew what Dean was going to do, he would fuck him long and hard, until Sam was just about ready to collapse with exhaustion, and he vaguely wondered as he felt Dean's mouth gently licking, teasing the long shaft of his cock to erection making his head fly back and his back arch slightly;' if sex was 'punishment' what was Dean going to do to him for his 'sins'?

Sam had completely forgotten about the previous punishment and as Dean's mouth wrapped around the head and sucked, Sam screamed out. "Dean!" He yelled, not caring in the least how much more he was punished by his brother, just as long as he could get him off his dick. "Dean stop! Please, it fucking hu-" and to his astonishment Dean did stop. "What did you use Sammy?" Dean asked inspecting the tip where a small cluster of scabs were. "N-needles." Sam gasped.

"Why?"

"_Why?" "_Because it was….each time after I would…it was….I had to…"

"Go on." Dean encouraged. "Say it."

"Punishment. I punished myself in your place…"

Dean stepped away from him and back to the table with his toys on, bent down and reached under and reemerged with a dark red blanket and grabbed a couple of tubes that he stuffed in his pocket that then threw the blanket on top of Sam. "Bet you were thinking about me each and every time you stuck your dick in that bitch weren't you Sammy?"

Sam didn't have to answer. "You were because you know who you really belong to. No matter where you ran no matter what you did I was right there at your side wasn't I? But she's still polluting what's mine and I'm going to make sure it gets out..."

"_The demon blood." _ Sam realized as he felt a pinch on his arm. _"This is a fucking detox." _An IV line that Dean was already attaching to a bag of clear liquid and hanging it on a hook somewhere above Sam's head. Oh God how long had Dean been planning to do all this?

God, where had Dean learned all this crap, from trial and error with the people he tortured or from what was done to him? "Good boy. " He heard Dean praise. "Now, this one is going to hurt a little but I'm just trying to save you a mess." Dean grabbed Sam's cock once more and Sam's eyes widened with pain, his mouth falling open and a loud gasp escaped him as he felt something sliding up inside of him. "Fuck!" He cried, biting the corner of his mouth.

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam. "Don't be a pussy." He said. "Don't want you pissing all over the place. Sam heard the sound of something hollow being scooted across the ground and knew it was to serve as his toilet for as long as Dean deemed it so.

Dean closed his eyes, allowing the shift in his eye color to happen once again, and he turned to leave, leaving Sam cracked, but not yet broken that would come soon enough. "Oh and Sam. Just to give you something to think about, this is technically the first time you've been on top of me since the first time we fucked."

It took him a second to realize what Dean meant and then it hit like a brick wall. The smell. It wasn't like something rotting. It was something rotting. He was fucking tied down on top of Dean's casket that held held his beloved brother inside, rotted and no doubt covered with maggots and snakes and God knew what else and this time when Dean turned to leave Sam kept silent .He shut his eyes trying to hold back his tears as the door slammed shut and the sound of something heavy banged against the door, and then the realization hit him. The loving brother, who had practically raised him, taught him how to protect himself was gone. The only human instinct that had somehow been salvaged was the dark twisted side that had somehow managed to drag itself out of Hell was Dean's desire to have his 'one hundred percent pure Sam Winchester and it was likely to kill him to get it. Sam's screams of misery filled the room and blended with the sound of the demon on the other side of the door laughing hysterically.


End file.
